An Unwelcome Suitor (Entangled Inheritance Book 4) Page 20

  Neither did I. Emotion choked me, a grief far different than what I had experienced in the past. Was Brookhaven really worth all of this? Were the consequences of veering from Aunt Augusta’s stipulations truly worse than the consequences of heartbreak? I was no longer sure.

  “What did Gilbert say to you?” I asked.

  Juliana sniffed, pulling away from me and drying her wet cheeks. “Hardly anything at all. I hurt him, Eliza. He understands why I am doing this, but he cannot hide how much it hurts. I don’t think I can any longer either.” She drew a deep breath. “He asked me if I had changed my mind, but I told him I had not. Then he acted as if he wanted me to leave, as if he wished never to see me again.”

  That was how I had acted toward Luke. “You cannot blame him for it. Seeing you married to another man would be heart rending.”

  Juliana nodded, wiping at her eyes as more tears spilled out.

  “Did he manage to repair the barouche?”

  “Yes. Luke returned with a groom from the stables and two horses to bring me back after the wheel was fixed.” Juliana looked as if she wished to say more.

  My question begged to be asked, even though I feared the answer. “Did he finally propose?” My heart pounded.

  “No. He was acting quite out of character. He too hardly spoke to me on the drive back. He was polite, but silent, akin to the first several times we met him. I think he might suspect something between Gilbert and me. I do not know how to tell him.”

  Guilt scratched at my conscience. “He knows,” I said in a whisper. “I am sorry. I did not mean to tell him, but the words simply slipped out.”

  Juliana’s face paled, her blue eyes widening. “Eliza!”

  “I am sorry.”

  “How did he react?”

  I tried to remember the conversation, but all I could remember was the kiss that had soon followed. “He was… upset that he had not been told before.”

  “Did he change his mind?” Juliana’s expression was half dread, half hope.

  Had he changed his mind? “I don’t know.”

  The news had certainly shaken him, as if it had given him permission to love me, allowing him to consider for the first time what it might be like to marry me instead. I had considered it too, and I still was. But how could I tell Juliana that I was in love with Luke? I could not. My confession would only make Juliana’s choice even more difficult. Luke did not realize what he was doing and saying when he had suggested that he would give up Brookhaven for me. He had told me once before that he would do anything to make his sisters happy, and Brookhaven was his opportunity. Had he learned the same things I had from Charity—that happiness could be found anywhere?

  “Did you speak with Mr. Yeatman this morning?” I asked. “He came to the house.”

  Juliana scowled. “No. I did not see him.”

  How strange. I recalled seeing him outside the house, as if planning to wait until a later hour to go inside. How could I explain when he came the next day that an engagement had still yet to be established? I did not like seeing the satisfaction such news brought him.

  “Why did he come?” Juliana asked.

  “He came to check on the progress of your courtship. He is becoming more and more hopeful that he will have Brookhaven after all.”

  Juliana sat down on the stairs in silence, and I joined her.

  “Perhaps we should just let him have it.” Martha’s voice made me jump. She sat down on the other side of Juliana, touching her shoulder. “We might ask a favor of him in exchange for allowing him the estate. He is greedy, to be sure, but Brookhaven’s income is enough that he could spare the expense of providing Eliza and me with a home to rent near Gilbert’s, so we will not be far from you. He might even provide us with a few of the servants to help us manage. If Brookhaven is on the line, I daresay we could strike any deal with Yeatman.”

  Hope sparked in Juliana’s eyes for a short moment before it disappeared. “I cannot be so cruel as to leave Luke and his sisters with nothing.”

  “Then strike your bargain with Yeatman to include a house for them too.”

  “I do not trust the prospect of doing business with a man like him,” Juliana said, her voice hesitant.

  Luke had told me about Mr. Yeatman conning money from unsuspecting people, of his lying and stealing and rakish behavior. There was no way Luke would accept any charity from Mr. Yeatman, and I doubted Mr. Yeatman’s pride would allow him to do anything to help Luke. His hatred ran too deep.

  But Martha’s suggestion was not entirely unwise. Gilbert and his family could live in a home rented by Brookhaven’s income with Juliana and Martha, and I could marry Luke and live with him and his sisters. My heart thudded, seeing a sudden light through the entanglement.

  It still did not solve the issue of Betsey’s vast disappointment. I pitied the girl, and I knew how she felt. But moving to Brookhaven had not been what healed the pain I felt after losing my mother and father. Only love had, the love of my sisters, and Betsey would have that no matter what.

  “You would not be leaving his sisters with nothing,” I said. “They already have everything they need.” The passion behind my words brought me to my feet. “We do not need this place either.” I gestured all around me at the grand staircase and lofty ceilings, fine marble and glass. “We know what is truly important. Mr. Yeatman does not understand that, and that is why he will always need Brookhaven. I pity him for it.”

  Juliana put her face in her hands. “I cannot do it.”

  My heart pounded. “I will tell Luke after I strike our bargain with Mr. Yeatman tomorrow. How could he refuse our offer?” Why had I not thought of bargaining with Mr. Yeatman before? My weak efforts at sabotaging the courtship were pathetic in comparison. It was a dangerous task to bargain with a dishonest man, but it still gave me hope.

  Juliana still appeared skeptical. “I do not trust Mr. Yeatman to carry out the bargain.”

  “Nor do I. That is why we must employ Mr. Tuttle-Kirk to make the arrangement legal and binding.”

  Juliana bit her lower lip, hope and uncertainty battling in her expression. “We mustn’t consider it as a possibility until you speak with Mr. Yeatman tomorrow. He could still refuse to make such a bargain with us.” She stared at the floor in front of her. “I am being foolish. If I had not seen Gilbert today I would not even be considering this. I am one person. Why should you all sacrifice Brookhaven for me? Luke will hate me for it. His sisters will hate me.”

  No, I suspected Luke would readily accept the plan. Emotion soared inside me, banishing the doubt and fear I had felt before. “Love often requires sacrifice.” I squeezed her hand. “It doesn’t always have to be you doing the sacrificing, you know. You ought to give others a chance.” The possibility of going to Luke, of telling him that we could be together—it was almost too much to comprehend. Juliana seemed to be thinking the same thing about Gilbert as tears began pooling once again in her eyes.

  “I will speak with Mr. Yeatman tomorrow.” I looked up at Martha, whose smile had grown to a considerable size. “I will strike that bargain.”

  Mr. Yeatman’s hair was styled in another poor attempt at the Brutus when he came to our drawing room the next afternoon. “Ah, for once I am to be greeted by all of you, dear cousins.” Mr. Yeatman walked through the door, where Martha, Juliana and I all sat waiting for his arrival. My sisters had insisted on being present during the conversation. I feared that Mr. Yeatman would mention my attachment to Luke, so I would have to tread carefully with my choice of words. He turned his small eyes toward Juliana. “I thought I would be coming here today to offer my congratulations, but as I have heard it, you are still not engaged to Pembroke.”

  “I am not.”

  He flashed a white smile. “I cannot pretend to be disappointed to hear that. What could the delay possibly be?” He walked to the settee to sit and tapped his chin as his eyes slid toward me.

  I stiffened. “We are here to make a proposal of a different sort to yo
u.”

  Mr. Yeatman’s eyebrows rose. “How intriguing.”

  I wet my lips, focusing carefully on my words. “We would like to offer Brookhaven to you, meaning Juliana will not wed Dr. Pembroke, but only if you will allow us a portion of the estate’s income in order to rent a house large enough to accommodate the family of Mr. Gilbert Robins, as well as Juliana and Martha. We also ask that you do the same for the family of Dr. Pembroke.”

  Mr. Yeatman grinned at me with amusement. “And you, of course, will marry the doctor.”

  My face burned as Juliana and Martha looked my way with confusion. “That—well, that is not certain.” I stared at the ground, cursing myself for keeping such a secret.

  “Eliza?” Juliana frowned. “What does he mean?”

  “Oh!” Mr. Yeatman crossed his legs. “Were your sisters still unaware of your attachment to him? Forgive me.”

  I swallowed, willing the temperature of my skin to cool. I couldn’t look at Juliana or Martha.

  I leveled my gaze at Mr. Yeatman. “Will you accept our offer? Juliana is still willing to marry Dr. Pembroke, and she will if you do not provide us with a portion of the income.”

  “But is Dr. Pembroke willing to marry Juliana?” Mr. Yeatman flashed a wicked smile and leaned toward me. “After what I witnessed near Brookhaven’s stables just yesterday…I daresay he is not.”

  I felt the color drain from my face. Had he been spying on us from the moment we left for the picnic? Had he seen Luke kissing me?

  My fears were confirmed by the growth of Mr. Yeatman’s smile. “If you wish to keep your reputation in tact, my dear, you must carefully consider your course of action.” He sat back. “It seems you and Pembroke have little choice but to wed, and if he is indeed as honorable as you once professed him to be, he will not leave you in ruin. I daresay such a delicious piece of gossip would be a treat to the people of the county. The scandal may ruin many more than just yourself.”

  I balled my fists around my skirts, the muscles in my neck clenching. “You will truly refuse our bargain? It will ensure that you inherit Brookhaven. All we ask is that—”

  “I have already ensured that I will have the estate. Pembroke will marry you to spare your reputation, and the stipulations in the will shall remain unfulfilled.” He smiled as if this were all a game to him. “I have no need to bargain with you, Lizzie.”

  I gathered my composure, exhausting all my energy in order to keep my voice calm. “How can you be so selfish? Are you really so cruel as to deny your own cousins and four young girls a comfortable home?”

  He stared into my eyes for a long moment before interlacing his fingers over his knee. “I am not as selfish as you would think.”

  I huffed out a breath. “I have seen no evidence of that.”

  “I have taken into consideration the happiness of the eldest Pembroke sister. As you said, she greatly desires the estate, and I greatly desire a wife at my side as I take up residence here at Brookhaven.”

  His words scratched over me like ice cold fingers. “What did you do?”

  “I have proposed marriage to her.”

  Juliana let out a quiet gasp. “No.”

  My feet shot down to the ground, pushing me to stand. “Surely she did not accept.”

  Mr. Yeatman grinned. “I am disappointed that you find me so unappealing, cousin. Miss Pembroke was quite grateful for the offer, as it secures her the estate after her careless brother ruined her opportunity by falling in love with you and displaying his affections so thoroughly yesterday.” He sat tall, as if quite proud of his own generosity and victory. “I will have Brookhaven, a lovely little wife, and the pleasure of knowing that Pembroke is displeased with the match.”

  Anger darkened my vision, hopelessness and despair quick to follow. I stumbled a step back from my cousin, disgusted by his victorious smirk. Luke would never choose saving my reputation over saving his sister; Mr. Yeatman did not understand that. Luke would marry Juliana to inherit Brookhaven and keep Betsey from Mr. Yeatman at any cost. Juliana would then lose Gilbert, and I would become like Charity, ruined and alone.

  “Eliza.” Juliana’s voice forced my eyes up from the ground. “What did he witness?”

  “It does not matter.” I turned toward the door, walking as fast as my legs would carry me to the hallway and up the stairs to my room. Not only had love outwitted us all, but so had our incorrigible cousin. My tears fell freely down my face, all my anger toward Mr. Yeatman melting into grief. By staying here I would make every decision more difficult.

  I had to leave. I was ruining everything.

  I sat down at my writing desk, wiping my eyes. I flipped through the advertisements I had found for Martha and me. My eyes caught on one in a household in London, soliciting for a governess to oversee the education of three young children. I folded it up, my heart thudding wildly against my ribs. I could travel to my destination and meet with the family to inquire about the position. I could leave all of this behind. All of my efforts to help Juliana had caused more trouble for all of us. It seemed the best thing I could do to help her would be to leave.

  And if I left today, Luke would not have to see me again. His decision would not be influenced by me any more than it already had been.

  Gilbert’s letter peeked out from behind the papers on my desk, and I picked it up, reading over the words that had helped me write the fake letter from Luke. The last lines brought tears to my eyes.

  Although we cannot be together as we had hoped for, as I had longed for, a heart so thoroughly affected cannot be silenced or suppressed. You have left etchings on my heart, my dear Juliana, with your smile and your laugh, with your beautiful face and beautiful spirit. Those carvings shall never be lost to the weathering of storms or the tempests of sorrow. My heart is yours, and it is breaking. Without you, I fear it shall never be whole again.

  With all my love,

  Gilbert.

  The letter bled of longing and sorrow, and when I finished reading, I held it against my chest.

  I now understood the words of that letter. Gilbert’s feelings resonated with me. I would never forget Luke, and that is why I had to leave. My friend Henrietta had become a governess, and while her letters indicated that she felt lonely, she quite enjoyed her time spent with the children.

  As I considered my options, whether to stay here and see Luke married to Juliana, or to leave and be alone, I still preferred the latter.

  Blinking away my tears, I dipped my quill. I couldn’t leave Juliana and Martha without an explanation.

  Chapter 23

  It was apparent to me that the life of a governess would be one of solitude. I could only pray that my employers were kind and that the children under my care were half as sweet as little Maryann.

  If the position was even offered to me, of course.

  I didn’t even know if the position had already been filled. I had taken the ride toward London blindly, but I cared little for my recklessness. Even my traveling trunk had been hastily packed, my letters to my sisters scrawled in a shaky hand the night before. I had fled from Brookhaven at first light, too afraid that Luke would come calling, that he would try to stop me.

  The coachman helped me out the side of the road facing a neat, symmetrical London townhouse. The tan brick reminded me of my childhood home. My heart stung. Life had given me so much to miss, so much to long for that I couldn’t ever have again. The thought of Juliana and Martha reading my notes brought tightness to my throat, and I hoped they would come to forgive me for leaving them.

  I smoothed my hair as I approached the door, swallowing my fear and willing my legs to quit their trembling. The advertisement had indicated an invitation to come inquire between noon and two. I checked Aunt Augusta’s watch one more time before raising and lowering the knocker thrice.

  A rather young butler opened the door, his auburn hair combed neatly against his head.

  “Good morning, sir.” I wrung my hands together. “I am here to request a
n interview for the governess position listed in the Morning Post.”

  The butler’s mouth drooped in a pitiful frown. “I’m afraid the position has long since been filled, ma’am. That advertisement was posted weeks ago.”

  Disappointment dropped like a stone through my stomach. “Does the household have any other needs?”

  “No, ma’am.” He gave a tight smile and nod of his head. “Good day.”

  The door closed in my face before I could say another word. I stood in shocked silence for several seconds before retreating down the steps.

  Of course the family had already found a governess. Why had I been so foolish as to think otherwise? I had been scared, and I had run, just like I always did.

  I stopped on the grass, fighting another onslaught of emotion and tears. Why could I not keep my composure? As much as I tried not to feel it, relief crept into my chest that I did not have to be parted from my sisters. I had tried to be brave in making this sacrifice, but it seemed my attempt had failed, just as I had failed at too many other things to count. I blinked hard as I approached the waiting coachman. What else could I do?

  I was not averse to work; I enjoyed keeping busy, and if I couldn’t marry Luke, then I had no hope or desire to marry at all. Perhaps I might commission a seamstress in London for an opportunity to work. I did hate sewing, but I could learn to be happy doing it.

  All I knew was that I couldn’t simply drive back to Berkshire and see Luke again. He and Juliana needed to marry, just as it had been since that day in Mr. Tuttle-Kirk’s office. They needed to marry, and I was only standing in the way. Gilbert had known his place, stepping back and allowing Juliana to fulfill her duty. It was only fair that I do the same for Luke, and I could not do that from within Brookhaven’s walls.